why didn't you poke me back
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
