i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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