can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
