What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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