We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my sisters under your porch take her home
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
