honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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