I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
