He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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