I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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