Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
