in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
