is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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