Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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