And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
