is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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