This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize