on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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