youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
