she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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