do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
