You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
