Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
