Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
