I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
sex in a hospital.. check
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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