Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
