i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Sorry my hands just texted you
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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