That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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