what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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