Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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