cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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