How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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