if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
