She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
