god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
