Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
