He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
