dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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