He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
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She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
why is half of my head shaved?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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