the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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