I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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