After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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