i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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