if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
