I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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