How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
