That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
