He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
