so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
