i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
