i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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