So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
