Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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