Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
