You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
