Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
