He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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