my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
