I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Randomize
