I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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