I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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