I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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